Lonely Nights

"I wanna be a God follower/ I wanna go wherever he leads" - Steven Curtis Chapman

So I've started listening to SCC again and I have to see even though he's a little gumball, his lyrics are amazing. Iaboslutely love what he says with his music. And the song about adopting moves me to tears.

So I'm also in this weird rent old classic movies that you've never seen before kick - so I have now seen The Graduate, Footloose, Dead Poet's Society etc. etc. I like watching the old "classics". They're really good. I'm sure there's more too, but can't remember. O well.

So it's nights like tonight where I feel really lonely. Yea, wah wah wah, boo hoo Kelsy. I know. It's just that I realize how secluded I've made myself. How much I wish I had friends that liked to call me for a change to do something instead of the other way around - I'm not saying that they never do. And actually tonight all of them are busy busy busy. Two are sick, one's grieving, and one is meeting their fiance at the airport. I need a life is really what I need.

How should I set about getting this new exciting life. I want to travel - we all know that. I'm also applying to many different law schools like UC Colorado Law, UNC Law, Berkeley, Univ of Virginia Law, William and Mary etc. etc. That's a really broad list - but I'm still thinking of others to. In fact I gave my professor my letter of recommendation today! Woo hoo one step closer.

Can you see me at Berkeley? I asked my mom that the other day and she said no, without hesitation thank you very much :( I would absolutely love it because it's so close to San Francisco and I ADORE San Francisco. I love the hustle and bustle, the scenery, the people, the culture, the things to do! All of it! I wouldn't mind the mountains of Colorado, the mountains/ocean of North Carolina and the friendly atmostphere. I hear Virginia's a beauty too. Well I know that at least three of those listed above I have to make at least a 170 LSAT score to get accepted - pray with me that I can do it! I've signed up for Kaplan's online LSAT course so hopefully it will help me!!!

So next step - start hanging out with more people. Broaden my scope of friends? But, does that mean that I'll have too many friendships that have no depth? Cause I don't want that. I just want to be able to talk to people, for them to care and hear me. Then I want them to talk and for them to know I'm listening. Gushy - but it's how I feel. And I want a real man! A real follower of Christ hunk! Where can I find me one of those - it's about damn time for one that's for sure.

Sometimes I wonder if I should be on depression meds too. I know they don't really work for ya long term. Therapy is key. But who has time for that - I sure don't!

O well. I'm going to go watch a sappy chick flick and then cry about it! :D haha. Peace out!