Monday, September 1, 2008

Welcome to my Blog

Hi, I'm Kelsy and welcome to my blog!

I'm a senior at the University of Tulsa majoring in Business Management (and maybe a minor in psychology, but we'll see). It's funny how people start out by telling you their rank in school isn't it. Just a fleeting thought -- I guess it's because it's what currently consumes most of my life at the moment. O well. Anyway, I plan on pursuing my MBA after I graduate in May....although I haven't decided where. I'm thinking University of Denver, University of Colorado Denver, or UNC Charlotte. I want to live near the mountains (can you tell?).

Really, I have little knowledge myself of why I'm pursuing an MBA other than the fact that I don't want school to end...not yet. I entered into college as a sophomore at 18 and now I'm going to graduate with an undergraduate degree when I'm 20! Still too soon to enter into the business world if you ask me. So, I'm going to go to school one year after this May. And I want to live somewhere beautiful. Is that a crime? Preferably with a large arts community and teaming city life!

I still think about going to law school every now and then. Especially now, since I have a law professor teaching my negotiations class of an evening. He tells the most fantastic stories of cases that he's tried or of mediations he's been involved in. It's fascinating to me. After working at a certain law firm here in Tulsa (won't give you the name), I thought I NEVER wanted to work at a law firm again. The manager was a micro-manager and I could never do anything right. It was a state of continual bitching, and I was on the receiving end. :( So that settled it...I thought. After being pre-med and pre-law I have "settled" for - management.

Let me tell you, not my original choice at all. I never thought that I'd be getting the same degree my mother graduated with from TU over 20 years ago! I didn't want to at all! But I'm starting to like the business school. At first I thought, this is boring, what am I doing here? But, now I see how it really does relate to everyday life! Pretty interesting now.

I still wonder if I should've gone with psychology, or exercise and sports science (for physical therapy), or went ahead and pursued that M.D. I guess I was/still am into serving people. Always has been my nature. Sometimes to my detriment, unfortunately. Just ask me about Josh (AKA Asshole) and what he and his little tramp did to me and another girl in Marketing and that pretty much sums up how I let some people treat me. It's not fair -- to me. I shouldn't do that, but it's a habit. One that I'm trying to overcome! :)

But back to my original point, how did I get here? When I was little I would write poetry...actually just looked at the document and I have well over a dozen poems that I wrote in the 7th to 8th grade. I would sing and write songs! I would sketch things ALL the time! I played the piano (much better than I do now - although it still remains my momentary escape from chaos). I wanted to do something great with my life...well no great is the wrong word. I wanted to do something creative!

You know where I went wrong? High school - I decided to take almost all AP classes my last year. Did it help me in the long run? Sure, I got out of a total of 27 hours at TU (hence my entering as a sophomore). But what did it do to me - it sucked the life out of me. It sucked out the creative juices in some areas and I became a well oiled, test-taking machine. UGH! I don't know, it's something I sometimes regret.

You know where else I went wrong? I started PANICKING about what degree to get in college. It doesn't help that most people get two years to declare a major where I only had ONE! So what did I do - I went online to those personality tests and skills tests websites and I took their tests. Sometimes I even paid (well my mom did). And what did those tests tell me? - That I wasn't creative. That I wasn't suited to become an editor, or a writer, or an author, or a musician, or an architect, or an interior designer, or anything having to do with using your mind (All of those are areas I've been interested in!). Basically confirming what the last two years of high school did to me. So, that finished me off. I doubted that I had any creative juices left. And now --- four years later I'm in business. Now can you see how I sometimes loathe the path that I took.

BUT! I'm not giving up hope. Within an MBA you can specialize - so I figure why not specialize in "Project Management" and oversee great creative projects. Or, why not specialize in human resources and serve people. Anyway, it's stuff that I'm still looking into.



Okay, so ENOUGH about school and the path that I've fallen into. I think that I need to vent. I think that everyone needs to vent every once in a while! Don't you? This is the perfect place, eh? A blog. So let's do it!

This has been one of the best and worst summers of my life! And let me tell you why (you knew that was coming right?).

I'll start with "best". Well, I decided to take a class, an international business law class. HAHA something that doesn't even really exist. "International law" -- there are no REAL international laws. Anyway, the class had a required 10-day trip to England. I jumped at the idea! I've only been to Alaska (another GREAT summer - one of the best...went to San Francisco and Alaska and we were gone over 20 days! LOVE) and to Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada (Also LOVE). I've never been overseas. Turned out to be one of the best trips and one of the best experiences of my life. Sometime later I'll have to post some pictures. Everything was absolutely. beautiful. Lovely. Old. Everything had a history! Just like people - everyone has a history.

So that was the "Best" - now to the "worst". Well my grandma got sick - she had septic shock, kidney failure and E. Coli. She's still actually in rehab and will be for at least another 2 weeks. So that SUCKED. Well, I knew this was coming - I'm psychic (lol just kidding - I only know what happened the last time someone got sick, my grandpa). My mom's side of the family IMPLODED.

Full scale warfare broke out! My aunt Brenda didn't even bother to show up at the hospital (except once) OR help in any way (even though she's 15 minutes from the hospital. And let's see - she drove +10 hours to Houston TWICE in two weeks to see another sick family member). Argel also was useless (still hanging onto 30 years of negative thoughts - a grudge that he can't let go of). SOOOO that left my mom and Eloda to fend for my grandma. Vicious e-mails were sent between all parties. And, if that's not enough, Brenda resigned her power of attorney leaving it all to my mom (who about had a heart attack, blood pressure spiking...not pretty).

AND, what do you know, leave it to Erin. She sends me degrading text messages and e-mails telling me to grow up, to not put my emotions on facebook, that I'll never be in any relationship, that I'm not a mature adult (although she is? HAH!). Anyway, a bunch of negative stuff. SOOOO I decide that I'm not going to put up with her bullshit any longer. I've put up with it, and I'm serious, since I was about 4 (whenever I actually start to remember stuff). So, I fight back. That only eggs Erin on. Yes, unfortunately I already knew that.

Well, so who's left to get involved in my mom's family. O yes, Glenda. She writes me a LOVELY e-mail telling me that I'm basically being sadistic, unforgiving and etc etc just like my grandma to Erin and that cutting her out of my life is a mistake. What's one more rude e-mail between friends. You seriously think that I'm NOT going to respond??? O I did...my mom had to edit it actually. I had hives I was so angry. Anyway, that's dead and buried. She responded back but basically "Sort of" apologized.

So after my grandma getting sick, my mom's family in WWIII, and my great aunt Ethel dying (my grandma's sister)...what's left to go wrong. School! O yes! I receive a very "nice" e-mail from Amelia that said that basically if I don't follow along with her plans and schemes to go around the TU apartment office that she doesn't want me to move back in. Long story short, I didn't want to live with the "guilt" and drama, or her...so I released my contract ($600 frickin' dollars!!!!). And I forfeited the $250 deposit on the space. So, when I asked Amelia for at least half of the $850, you know what she said: I will not be held responsible....I guess sometimes you can't win.

And, my distant cousin Raymond, (with a rumored "affair" between him and Brenda) died. Probably of a suicide. He was actually a REALLY nice guy and I'm sorry to see that. After his mom Ethel passed, I guess he was so depressed that he felt he had to be with her. I sincerely hope that those that are left behind find some comfort that now he's with his mom.

So there you have it...a sick grandma, family fights, Ethel dying, Raymond dying, and a roommate from hell. God certainly knows how to keep it interesting. But everything happens for a reason right?

Actually, this is EXACTLY the reason that I plan on going out of state for my MBA. Do not want to be anywhere CLOSE to a few family members. I want to start over! And anyone who condemns me for that can go pound sand. I've heard it all - you can't escape your problems or your family. Bull hockey, my problems maybe. But I sure as hell can get as far away from my family as a I want. I just need to do a little bit more convincing for Haley, my mom and dad to move with me! :) Shouldn't be too hard though - my mom's wanting to move already.

Ok, so this blog entry has gone on long enough. It's gotten WAY too long. Time to stop. But, I don't want to leave it on a bad note. So, here's one of the poems that I wrote 8 or so years ago! Feel free to go to Poetry.com and look me up :D

The fog settled like a thick sap
oozing out of a tree.
Very slowly it fell
covering and consuming all it touched
in a white blanket of moist droplets,
that tickled and kissed your nose,
And blinded your sight.
How mysterious the shroud so white.
Copyrighted 2008 by Kelsy Morgan Walton

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