Mom had a panic attack today. Haley woke me up and told me that she was puking downstairs and that she needed my help. By the time I got down there she was already finished. White, pale, sweaty and shaky. Yep, panic attack. I hate those - I personally almost had about 5 last September so not fun.

She had an interview today - which probably brought on the anxiety. That and her past manager telling her all of the things that she must remember if she wants to be considered for the job. Yea, no pressure there! So, poor thing...I gave her some breathing techniques that I used that immediately calmed me down so much so that I stopped the panic attacks before they progressed into "full blown" panic attacks.

So, I have a side note. Hopefully my family doesn't read this cause this is going to be -- not a rant per se -- but a comment. Last Sunday my aunt, my mom, my sister and I went to visit my grandma in the nursing home. We were all sitting around talking by the fountain and my aunt says that their brother told her that my mom has "made so much money of the years that she must have a million dollars saved up somewhere. There's no need to worry". My mom says, "I hope to goodness that he was joking". Eloda says "No, he was serious. So, in all seriousness, are you a millionaire? Because I've been telling people, yea my sister's a millionaire" (laughs).

HELL NO. We are not millionaires...not EVEN close. It has been like this since I was little....as far back as I can remember. For some odd reason, I don't know why, but Erin and Argel seem to have it in their minds that my family is really really rich and can afford anything on the planet. Erin has always talked about how much money my family has and how rich we are, very negatively, like we owe them something that we are a bunch of snotty stuck-up people. Yes, ok, compared to people in other parts of the US living on welfare and those that barely make minimum wage, etc etc, yes we are immensely blessed. But, definitely not because we're millionaires. That's ridiculous! I don't understand.

It filters down as a part of the ridicule and judgment that they put on my mom, like she's not really a part of the family, like she's the black sheep, the outcast. She can never be one of them...why? Because she's the only one that went to college? Or because she "received" less beatings from their father (which is so not true). Or because of this....Or because of this....It's never gonna change. They will always have an excuse.

Well, let me just tell you - she paid for every bit of her education herself. She didn't have any help from her parents. So if she is successful, it is because of the hard work that she has done. Not because of anyone else. And, I am one proud daughter of a mother who has worked so hard and has such integrity.

Ok, that's enough commentary on the subject. It's never gonna change and I'm not gonna let it affect me and the decisions I make. They have every right to have the feelings and the beliefs that I do so I'm not gonna try to change them. Besides, no amount of talking or explaining will ever change their minds.