I turned in my Diplomacy Journal today - all 150 pages of it (80 of which were written by me and my partner, Kim). Felt so good. It was bound nicely, thanks Kinkos! And it was definitely the largest journal there! I better get an A or I will be sitting in Wolfe's office, "negotiating".
Judge Wolfe asked us tonight in class what we had gained from negotiations. What I said was that it was necessary to prepare, identify your BATNA (or Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement), and to not bid against yourself. What I really wanted to say was that I learned how to swindle, how to lie to someone while looking them straight in the eye, how to bluff, how to cheat, how to backstab and how to lose relationships quickly. What great concepts.
What some people said about us tonight made me sad. Virtually everyone attacked us this past move. Why? What have we done? At least I have not tried to be someone's fake friend before mowing them over.
I do feel like I left with a tiny shred of dignity. We decided to help England, even though they made a move this last round to attack us. They were our one ally throughout the game, and we did not want to take cheap shots just to get points.
One person said that women are emotional. Another said that we (France) were deceptive and that we couldn't be trusted, despite the many support moves (and lies from other countries as well) we made and trying to seem empathetic (AND this is coming from Ivana, the lead negotiator for Russia, the person that had no guilt or ill feelings at taking advantage of virtually every player in the game - right). One person laughed when I said what I would do differently next time, thanks asshole (AJ).
I left feeling defeated and dissatisfied. I actually wanted to walk out when he said that we had one more move to play. Yes I made the game personal, because others also made it personal and emotional. It is sexist to think that only women are emotional, ok, helloooooo JB!!!!
In the end, I kept my face still, without emotion. But, I couldn't hide my red cheeks from my blood pressure rising. I didn't make any wise cracks, no degradations, and I didn't make low ball comments like some of the other players in class.
I end the game with 5 supply centers...the losing lot.
But enough! The class is over! No more of this wretched God-awful game! And...with it no more friendly relationships with some members of teams, unfortunately.
I'm watching an orchestra play on Ovation! They are absolutely fantastic and amazing. Thank goodness I do not have class tomorrow! I can sleep in a little - say til 9am.
I've almost completed my Christmas shopping! I've got stocking stuffers for the fam. I've gotten Haley's gift. I'm not buying a gift for my dad. But, I've still got to get my mom a gift. And I think I know what to get her too!
If this Diplomacy game has taught me anything useful, it is that people can make decisions and actions that I'll never truly know the intent of. So, I quickly judge that to mean one thing, while they may have another motive, possibly a good one, in mind. I should be willing to trust, willing, unless someone proves me wrong. I don't think I have a high trust propensity. Actually, very low probably.
Only two tests, a presentation and paper, a jury, a rehearsal and a performance left and then the semester will be OVER! Yay! And then I will be one semester away from graduating! Scary!
Since I stayed up until 2am last night working on my journal, I bid adieu and goodnight. Sleep tight.