Sunday, February 6, 2011

Existential Moment

Sitting here watching the Bucket List with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson.

Makes me think about my own bucket list...which I have not really made...And the awesome glasses that Jack Nicholson uses to watch T.V. while laying down :)

So, what am I doing? I have a friend who has traveled overseas, graduated from Yale and is now at UC Davis able to visit San Fran whenever she wants. I have another that graduated high school early and went to Spain to study for 6 months and is back in the states engaged to a Spaniard. I have another that interned at Crested Butte (sp?) and now lives in Chicago doing the job of her dreams. I have another who has a G0d given talent for art. Graduated from OU and is now in Ireland in graduate school for art!!! Ireland! And the list goes on and on.

If I really want something, why do I not go for it??? I want to live in San Francisco, D.C., Portland, NYC. I want to travel across Europe, possibly live there. I want to go sailing on the ocean. I want to write my own book of poetry. I want to see 1000 sunrises and sunsets. I want to travel to the intricate non-touristy areas of Mexico. I want to see where the water in South America is half black and half muddy brown. I want to see the lake of fireflies.

So, what is holding me back? Not just about the big things, but even the little things. I want to stretch my wings and really just -- live. God has given me this wonderful life, why do I forsake it and waste it like I do?

No more hiding from myself and others. Like it or not, this is me!!!

1 comment:

Kristi said...

I have had these epiphanies, and I had it again last year. And I actually started to act on it. But there is always a reason why we don't do these things. Money is always a factor. I had to wait to go to Europe when I was married, because I didn't have money until then. I also don't like to do things alone. I could, but I don't want to. I want to share the moments with others. That is the main reason I have put off so many things in my life--waiting for someone to share it with. And this year I've decided to go to mexico with my friends. We are saving up to make it happen. And I'm so glad.