Monday, March 14, 2011

I've been sick for the last few days. I've had a low grade fever, throbbing headaches, and horrible back aches. Not sure what it is, but I'd like it to stop.

But, I have gone out anyways. No one else in my family is sick, so I'm guessing it's not contagious. And, I'm not going to let it keep me down. I went out walking with a friend on Saturday, it was so nice outside and the wind kept us cool :) But, other than that I have been laying around, sleeping in, and doing some career searching. Just wanting to see what's out there.

And, I've been dating. Haley almost forced me to put a profile on and I finally did. I've gotten a lot of messages from guys! And, I've been out with two. Both seem pretty nice. Still feels weird though because I don't really know them.

One of them, I'll call him Peter, gives me a weird feeling. Not sure what it is, I can't put my finger on it. I have always been really good at reading people and their intentions, way before some of my friends and family. And, there's just something not right. I'm not sure what is normal for texting when you've only been out once, but for my preferences he does it too much -- almost to the point of annoying.

The other, I'll call him Sam...I felt nothing weird whatsoever when we went out Saturday night. It was nice! We went to eat and then went on a drive; I showed him around Tulsa since he's not from here.

I actually left the first date with Peter feeling upset. He had just given me my first kiss, ever. And I was on the verge of crying because I felt like, "if this is what dating is and how it feels then, I don't want to date". But, luckily it felt no where near that with I still have hope.

I am finally getting my flirt on too ;) I've never really been great at it, so I can only hope I've gotten better and not worse :) Now, I just need to prove to myself that I can lose some weight. Then, I'll feel even MORE comfortable in my own skin.

Hoping that I start feeling better and that this week is awesome! :D


Kristi said...

A kiss is completely on your terms. You may be timid about asserting yourself, but it should never be expected. If you don't want to kiss, you are completely in the right to pull back.

Dating is hard, and first dates are crazy. Blindly meeting someone is so hard. And it's so random to be attempting to make a quick judgment of someone based on first appearances. The truth is, your true self likely won't come out for a while. However, if something in you has a hesitation, then trust it.

I'm proud of you. It's hard, but it gets better as you do it more.

Don't forget who you are. You are beautiful, intelligent, and have greatness ahead of you!!!!

Kelsy said...

Thanks Kristi!

It wasn't the kiss that freaked me was like the whole date just caught up with me when I dropped him off at his apartment. I wasn't myself the entire time and I didn't like how I felt.